May 2, 2009


Amidst Recession, Dream

by Nicole Molino

There is a roller coaster ahead of us. Collectively, we take this ride together. I've been in preparations all my life. This moment here, right now. It's like nothing I ever imagined yet somehow I expected because I know the truth. Thus, I have a utility belt of sorts. The most important is my family. Through them my dreams are coming true. Dreams that naturally, progressively fine tune. An orchestration of movement and sounds. I have found solace in the peaceful quiet. And yet I am now keenly aware that communication is key. All the math problems I pushed myself to work have my brain wired for this. There are so many ways for my mind to be influenced. My trust to be gained and too often broken. There are no tears left to cry. Just the drive to keep going and the exhaustion to recharge.

I made a chart tonight. The painting was on the back side of last month's calendar; we keep green in this house like some keep kosher. I am in track mode currently. Tracking my childrens' behavior. Let me backtrack--my neighbor and I were discussing the kids as we drove home, her from work, I from shopping. The little boys are both still toddlers whom are fast paced towards pre-k. They are so well behaved and even better together! They keep each other busy and I can actually get things done. The older too-smart-for-their-own-good pre-pre-teens are quite the characters. I mentioned how I have done charts with my boys for rewards and works in progress. But life happens and these charts go without from time to time. The boys are flourishing and mama's gotta prepare them to be great men. So, there's always a lot of talking going on. So much information to process, so little time. I accept and embrace my role with every fiber of my being. This is a dream come true! I remember the old days of carrying around a baby that was so realistic that everyone must have thought I was such a good mommy. I communicate with myself on the things I want in life, the things I need to change. So, the chart lists Good Manners, to which I gave each boy a smiley face to start. Below the boys names I dedicated a spot to list Mom's specials. These will be the rewards the boys will work towards--the good things in life. I then melted into the moment of sharing a meal and collectively painting "a masterpiece" my three year old captioned. That's when I walked over to the chart and added Patience and below the boys I wrote Mom. Tracking my own.

My sons deserve a patient mom. I sometimes figured if I asked for patience, God would test it, thus increasing my threshold for pain. So I stopped asking for it. It is my challenge.

Dear Husfriend and I dialogue often. This did not come easily. There have been many growing pains to endure. The conversations are more fluid now. Being surrounded by testosterone all day has given me courage to speak my mind. I am my only advocate. I am my children's advocate. And that of husfriend too. Although you can fill in the blank of my job description. I am personal assistant to 3 men and slave to my abode. Wasn't I supposed to have a robot to do all of this by now? Funny how life takes us forward in time, but things stay the same.

Humanity. Maybe the most important, although, believe me, communication is a close second. Humanity. Not race, color, creed. Humanity. This truth levels the playing field. Who made you more important than me? Than her, than he, than any of us? Each one of us human beings have the same common denominator: Potential. That's what it all boils down to. Fulfill or implode. So for me and my house, we coexist. History teaches us things that reveal the predictable aspects of humanity, but I won't fill the mold. I won't curse myself for someone else's mistakes. I may not even identify with you. While I'm here on this precious planet I will talk to you, console you, educate and learn from you. Peace be with us. Peace be still. Now go talk about it.

Nicole Molino is work at home momma where she runs a successful household while raising two brilliant young men ages 7 and 3. Now that Nicole's sons are both out of diapers (woohoo!), she is finding time for her first love, writing. Nicole lives in sunny south Florida and keeps a busy schedule of play dates and sports. Her creative interests include writing fiction, non-fiction and poetry, singing, arts and crafts, photography and daydreaming. Nicole is co-founder of a grassroots movement of peaceful coexistence and may be reached via MySpace.